If your teenage daughter has a smartphone in her bedroom

If your teenage daughter has a smartphone in her bedroom

Guys are irritated I didn’t talk about women and girls in the post yesterday. Believe it or not, that’s because men and women are different and I was focussed intently on men and their sons. Concerning his responsibility for the purity of his home, the father’s first responsibility is himself and his sons. What I wrote yesterday was motivated by my revulsion at how many fathers do next to nothing to guard their sons from those very sins which will bar them from the Kingdom of God, if we believe the warnings of Scripture.

Of course, it’s true that the father who does nothing to protect his sons sexually is certainly going to do even less than nothing to protect his daughters. But men, you know I don’t need to say one thing about protecting the purity of wives and daughters to be fully justified in saying tons of things about protecting ourselves and our sons. Nothing requires me or you to give precisely the same amount of time to the sexual sins of women and girls as you give to the sexual sins of men and boys. That’s Title 9. You do realize Proverbs doesn’t do so, right? So are you bitter at God for singling out men particularly for most of the sexual warnings in Proverbs?

What would I say about our duty to guard the sexual purity of our wives and daughters?

First, do not watch acts of adultery with your wife. This is destructive to yourself, of course. But worse, it is the opposite of what Christ does for His Bride, which is to sanctify her. Instead, you are trashing your wife, morally, and doing so in service of your own wicked lusts. Do not allow your entertainment to be nakedness and adultery. If you do so, you will surely pay for your sins. You may even pay the price of your wife cuckolding you, which you would fully deserve. You might even pay the price of your wife cuckolding you by running off with another woman, which you would also fully deserve.

Both sins are common in the Church, you know.

Second, do not allow your daughters to have phones that can text pictures. Sexting is extremely common among our daughters in the church and if you think you can trust your daughters without looking at their phones regularly at times they can’t predict, you are as foolish as the dad who allows his sons to have screens in his bedroom. In the church today are tons of young men who are manipulating girls into sending them pics of them in underwear, swimsuits, and naked, and if you think your daughters are impervious to such appeals, you are a fool.

Third, don’t allow your daughters to have any laptop, smartphone, or tablet in her bedroom; and keep close watch over the things she is reading, making certain they are not emotional pornography.

Chat was big when our younger two daughters were in high school and we simply did not allow it. Period. We also did not allow them to listen to any popular music. We also did not allow them to have the doors to their bedrooms closed. And no, it presented not the slightest problem concerning modesty. Where there’s a will, there’s a way.

You see, the thing is rules often bar good things as well as bad things, but that’s the price you want to pay because of how very bad those bad things are. Until you are prohibiting your children from some good things by your rules prohibiting them from bad things, you haven’t begun to do what you need to do to prohibit bad things.

No child has any right to parents only setting rules that are perfect in how far and wide they cast the net in guarding their hearts.


Thankful for this content? Let others know:

Tags: , , ,

About The Author

7

Pastor of Trinity Reformed Church since 1996, Tim and Mary Lee have five children and lots of grandchildren. Tim's books include "Daddy Tried," The Grace of Shame," "Church Reformed," "Elders Reformed," and soon a book on marriage. Tim spent ten years in the PC(USA) and twenty in the PCA. He's now a member of Evangel Presbytery.

Support Out of Our Minds…

Love our content? Help keep it going!

Love our content? Help keep it going!

Join our newsletter