A brother objected to my reference to President Trump’s language in the Oval Office, thinking it was a defense of our president’s immigration policy. He points out that Trump has flipped on its head the historic “Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me, I lift my lamp beside the golden door!” so it now reads, “Give us your rich, your educated, your meritorious. Don’t you dare send your disease-infested masses from shithole countries in Africa!”

For the record, I’ve never been a fan of our President’s immigration policies—or what he claims are his policies. Longtime friends know how often I’ve irritated readers by my desire to see those who do our drywalling, landscaping, cooking, serving, and cleaning finally be permitted to get their citizenship. So my reference to our President’s language was no endorsement of policy, nor was it an endorsement of the language itself.

I was simply pointing out that men trade insults and this is part of male argument and shouldn’t send anyone into a hissy-fit. Crude men trade crude insults. Whatever President Trump ever has said, I’m guessing Presidents Kennedy, Johnson, Nixon, and Clinton said much worse. Refined men trade refined insults. And to be honest, if I were to receive an insult, I’d much rather receive it in all its crudity from President Trump or Johnson than in all its priggishness and condescension from President Obama.

But no, I would not approve of referring to any place—even Las Vegas—as a you-know-what-hole. And if someone did so in my presence, I’d explain to her how many wonderful people live in Las Vegas, and I’d likely ask her kindly to refrain. Yeah, I crack myself up.

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