From the editors: When a strange bearded man calling himself only “Nostradamus” staggered into Warhorn HQ, with 40 ounces of Schiltz in one hand and these predictions (scrawled on a Burger King wrapper) in the other, we were not inclined to stop the presses. After all, Warhorn Media emphatically DOES NOT, NEVER HAS, AND NEVER WILL, NOT IN TEN BILLION YEARS endorse Donald Trump for President. Still, on further consideration, we thought that (taken along with a truckload of salt) Nostradamus made some interesting points. And this was the only way we could get him to leave the lobby. So without further ado, here are 17 Reasons Trump Will Beat Hillary in a National Election.

#1“Make America Great Again!” vs. “Enabling My Husband to Grope Again!” will not go well for her.

Hillary has covered up for her serial sexual abuser husband for decades, destroying Bill’s victims for the sake of her political gains. Reforming the criminal justice system to bring more sex offenders to justice should be a national priority—this is an area that the justice department under Obama has achieved real progress. Hillary, however, is a symbol of, not solution to, our backwardness and victim-blaming in this area. Smart women should see she that the Mrs. Cosby of politics is not qualified to be our first female president.

#2 Come November, the seemingly more unified Democratic Party will be more even more fractured than the Republican Party.

Republicans might sit out the national election or write in a name, but they won’t vote for Hillary. Many democrats, on the other hand, will actually defect to Trump, whose protectionism and pro-business credentials will earn him a stunning number of union endorsements, fracturing a voting block that is typically monolithic for the donkey.

#3 Hillary’s many scandals make her a huge target, and Trump is the only candidate on the elephant side who will turn the debates into nothing but constant redirection to Hillary’s past.

Here is a preview…

Moderator: “Tell us about your position on healthcare, Mr. Trump?”
Donald: “You wanna talk healthcare, how about Hillary leaving all those Americans in Benghazi to die and then lying about it? I’ve never seen anything like it!”
(Loud boos from the crowd)

#4 Trump will be utterly diabolical in his selection of a running mate.

He will use his VP pick as an attempt to splinter Hillary’s base of support, and he will not pick a Republican. I think Oprah Winfrey will be his top target. Don’t assume she will turn down the job. If he tells her ahead of time that he plans on being a one-term president, she might just be tempted to accept VP as a fast track to the presidency in 2020.

#5 Trump is essentially a third party candidate who, unlike other third party candidates such as Ross Perot, has somehow locked up the Republican primary.

This duel citizenship as both independent and Republican will bode well for him with both Hillary-hating Republicans and politician-hating independents. We are underestimating how many independent non-voters there are in this country who resent both parties but will cast a vote for Trump, and those “new votes” will more than mitigate the loss of some disaffected Republicans. I don’t see Hillary doing well with independents. If those independents liked a polarizing candidate like Hillary I find it hard to believe they would be independents.

#6 If she somehow avoids indictment prior to the election, Hillary’s frail health and inability to breathe during public appearances will prove too weak in the face of Trump’s bravado.

He somehow will come off as the much younger candidate. Enjoy this preview of Hillary’s rebuttals to Trump in the presidential debates.

#7 Unanticipated events such as a major third party candidate running only helps Trump.

A more fractured circus-like election benefits Trump, just as it has in the Republican primaries.

#8 Trump’s machismo appeals to men who consider it shameful to be under a female commander and chief.

There are many men who would see voting for a Hillary over a Don as a surrendering of their masculinity. Trump’s misogyny ought not be viewed only as a negative when judging his electability.

#9 Trump is a city boy who somehow appeals to urban and rural voters alike.

He has particular appeal in cities (typically donkey strongholds) and some polls even show him winning his home state of New York and also New Jersey. If he does so, it is curtains for Ms. Rodham.

#10 Trump seems to be dominating all the military absentee voting.

I don’t see that changing. Yes, it is typically a Republican voting block, but given that Trump isn’t a “real Republican”, it is worth noting.

#11 Hillary is more of a war hawk than Donald Trump.

Trump’s attacks on Jeb Bush over the Iraq War bounced the well-funded Bush little brother out of the race with alacrity. These attacks can and will work against Hillary. If you think Trump’s supporters are violent, take a look at the groups of maniacs that Hillary armed and pushed to rebellion and chaos in Libya and elsewhere in the Middle East, leaving the region in shambles by the end of her stint as Secretary of State.

#12 Trump’s nativism will have broader appeal than anticipated with non-white voters.

Many Americans, including many African-Americans, resent illegal immigrants and the benefits afforded to them.

#13 No one does negativity better than Trump.

Given that both the electorate and the politicians are equally ignorant regarding real ways to change government, voting “inevitably becomes a negative exercise” as Richard Neely puts it in his 1981 book How the Courts Govern America. Elsewhere Neely argues that because television is the dominant form of communication, process and personality always hold sway over technical detail and well-laid plans. No one does negativity better than Trump. He is both the product and the producer of our sound byte culture.

#14 Trump is big on personality, and small on policies.

He has made the global news cycle about himself rather than his ideas, or lack thereof. He has dictated the terms of this election from the beginning, like a basketball team controlling the tempo. The Republican primary has been dominated by debates regarding Trump’s poll numbers and personality as opposed to plans, policies, and even a modicum of technical detail. If Hillary gets dragged into the mud-wrestling pit the way that all the Republicans have, it will be ugly. If I were Hillary, I would refuse to do any debates against Trump. She could just have a press conference where she says that she saw the debacle that was the Republican debate series and won’t dignify Trump by debating him in that fashion. It would be by far the best play for her.

#15 Trump has made a fortune from casinos, a point that has received little media analysis.

If Trump has gotten Americans to throw their hard-earned money into blackjack, roulette and poker tables, he can surely convince enough of us to vote for him, which costs no money but could potentially win us better jobs and greater prosperity. Coming in November, the voting booth is the new slot machine, and the house always wins.

#16 Trumps robust capitalism will make Hillary’s grandmotherly “It Takes a Village” pop socialism look like the Oprah show dreck that is.

#17 Another major jihadist attack either at home or abroad could tip the scale for Trump in a similar fashion to Osama Bin Laden video which dropped in the days leading up to the 2004 election. 🙁

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